On Autopilot

If there is one thing I have learned since being a stay at home mom for a year in a half; it's how easy you can go on autopilot. Whether you are a working mom or a stay at home mom it's easy to fall into robot mode doing the same things day in and day out. Since the pandemic my anxiety and depression have gotten worse and it can be a day to day battle trying to keep it at bay. Its the same routine Monday through Friday, waking up getting my girls ready for the day. I pack my oldest lunch, get her bag ready, fix her hair take her to school. Then come home and take care of my 3 year old, games, laundry, dishes, sweep, clean the house, make her lunch, take her to nap.

Even when I was working things were on autopilot only I had guilt not being with my girls as much as the daycare was. It was hard going to work and then getting 3 hours at night with them before bed. To me that wasn't life, we have to work to pay bills in an ever changing economy that makes it so hard to keep up with. Then add health insurance that is just ridiculous with cost and raises every year so your yearly bad raise doesn't make a difference. Then add on hardly seeing your family because you have to work more just to keep up with it all. It doesn't seem right spending all of our time working and hardly seeing your own kids. So then you have the other side where people are so addicted to the money as well that 3 hours a night is more than likely less than that, for a job that would replace them in a heartbeat.

We live in a world where accidents happen and none of us have a time stamp. Every single day I remind myself of how lucky I have to be able to be home with my kids. My husband now in a position where he is working from home more often and able to save his time off so we can go on vacations. Family time and being with our girls as much as we can is our top priority. So when I fall into the headspace of feeling down or my anxiety is high, and my robot setting sets in. I focus on everything I'm grateful for and a big part of keeping my head in the right spot is changing up the day. I force myself to get dressed and put makeup on. I make sure I get a workout in 3 to 4 times a week. I changed my routine with my 3 year old. It just takes a few changes to make sure you don't fall into the autopilot mode. When you have activities or vacations come up make a count down for the family so everyone gets excited and have something to look forward too.

If you are on a budget and don't have much you can do on a budget, look at the free activities around where you live. My kids love the public library and walking around downtown where we live, the park, going for walks, doing crafts, family games, get a public pool pass for the summer usually much cheaper than paying daily. These are majority of what I do with my kids as we try to save money but make sure that we are making memories. My kids so many kids just want your time and attention they don't care what you are doing as long as they are enjoying it with you. Its not about the stuff its about the time, and i see all too much where buying stuff people use to replace being not being there. We don't want the stuff we want time that we will never get back if we don't take it. My kids are at the age still where they want me and their dad around so we are absorbing it as much as we can. We made traditions with just our family of four for Christmas, Mothers Day and Fathers Day. Times that my oldest now looks forward too and we count down to those holidays as well. To us that is what life is all about, making memories and setting traditions. We are absorbing even on those hard days where they don't listen and are throwing tantrums and everyone is in a bad mood. It's taking the rainbows with the storms and learning to embrace it all. We all have hard days, days we want to stay in bed and not do our routine. Stop and think about the positives, and if there are things you need and want then its time to take action and change it. You are the only one that can change your life. Stop living on autopilot and just doing what feels comfortable, do what makes you happy and start taking care of yourself. Stop and make a list of what you want and how you you want your future self to be. Look forward to the good days and remember that life can change at any moment.

Its ok to get help and to get therapy if needed, it's ok to talk to someone. It's ok to have bad days, and it's ok not to be ok sometimes. Life is hard, it's challenging and when it rains it pours. It all comes down to how you handle and look at the positives when things get really hard. I'm on the road to change, learning new skills to help with finances and work on my happiness. I'm on the road to make a good life for my family so we can enjoy it instead of fitting in the mold of 9-5. It's time for a change, and it's up to you to change it. Life is what you make it, time is short, so go and make the best of it!